Self-Check-In: Lethality Assessment Worksheet

It is undeniable that Alt. Sexual Lifestyles such as BDSM and Kink walk a tightwire between consent and abuse. In many instances, Wheels of Power and Control are often beneficial resources for those in domestic and sexual violence situations that are not "friendly" to those who live in relationship structures that self-identify as "nonegalitarian" Power Exchange/Power Transfer relationships.

The question is - how are we able to determine if a relationship we are in is healthy or abusive?

A benefit of this tool is that it can be used by both those who identify as Non-Kinky/Vanilla and those who are members of or visitors of the BDSM/Kink community.

We cannot simply assume without the risk of offending in the land of BDSM and Kink, making assumptions about what consent is a case-by-case. And sometimes - we should risk being offensive if we have serious concerns about our loved ones or congregants.

A tool widely used by professionals is the Lethality Assessment Program also known as the Danger Assessment. While taking Domestic Violence Training, I was introduced to this checklist. No fear for those hesitant around being "placed in a box" or being "misunderstood" with their relationships! This tool is available online, free, and does not require contacting law enforcement to utilize it as a self-assessment tool.

Danger Assessment

Stepping into a relationship requires much trust. Entering into a Power Exchange/Power Transfer relationship involves consent. I encourage anyone who may question if their relationship is healthy or has not checked in with themselves lately to utilize this tool.

If you are in an unsafe relationship or have experienced abuse, there is help available:

Domestic Violence Hotlines By State

National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline

Leather Chaplain is not a licensed therapist/counselor or social worker. If you are in an emergency, please utilize the above resources or call 911.